Tuesday, January 24, 2012

'So, Mr. Lincoln, Will You Show Us Your Tax Returns And Did You Ever Sleep With Barnyard Animals'?

'Umm, the primary issue in this campaign of 1860 is whether the Union will survive or not, Brian with all due respect.'

Don't you just wish the media would actually ask questions of these presidential candidates that are important to us as a nation?

Honestly, what net effect does the release of Mitt Romney's tax returns for the past decade have on whether you will ever get a job again or your business will succeed?

And, (pardon the French), who the hell really cares whether Newt Gingrich ever 'consulted' or 'lobbied' for Freddie Mac?  (Answer:  Companies don't hire people with legislative experience to teach them history about the Crimean War or the impact of the Whiskey Rebellion on the young United States.)

We have much bigger problems than either of those two questions, Brian Williams and John King, with all due respect.

We decided to go back in the Wayback Machine to see just how ridiculous most of modern-day journalism has gotten with these seemingly interminable debates, especially when we are confronted with the greatest economic challenges since: 1) The Great Depression and 2) any of the economic depressions that followed the Civil War, in that order.

John King, American Telegraph: 'Mr. Lincoln, did you actually get paid by Illinois Central Railroad for the legal work you did for them when they were becoming a big bad giant railroad company?'

Honest Abe: 'Well, why yes I did, Mr. King.  I am a lawyer.  And a darned good one at that I might add'.

Brian Williams, News Courier Services: 'Mr. Lincoln, is it true that you have actually slept in the same bed with other men during your travels about the Midwest?

Lincoln: 'Mr. Williams, there are many times when there is only one straw bed in the hotel and 5 men will sleep in the same bed after a long journey on horseback.  It is 1860, you ninny!  Now can we get back to what the real problems are in this country, namely keeping this Union together and what to do about the issue of slavery and state's rights?

Now, of course, the press was just as mean and insolent back in antebellum days as they are today in 21st century America.  Abraham Lincoln was routinely called a 'baboon' and a big dumb backwoodsman from Illinois by his opponents and columnists alike.

But don't you wish that for just once, we could have a debate with these following questions, mainly because they get at the root of what our problems are as a nation today?

  1. Would you veto every spending bill that comes to your desk in the Oval Office regardless of whether it comes from a GOP or Democrat-controlled Congress unless it actually reduced spending each year?
  2. Would you sign a bill to repeal Obama Care, assuming it was passed by Congress?
  3. If you repealed Obama Care, what would you propose to Congress to take its place so that everyone could have access to affordable health care insurance?  (trick question..'insurance' is different from having access to 'health care'. see 'Do You Have Gutter Insurance?')
  4. Would you respect the Constitution and defer to the wishes of the majority of Congress or do things by executive order?
  5. Do you presume you and you alone can 'create' millions of new jobs in America or do the American people do that with their own ingenuity and sweat and investment given the right conditions to do so?
  6. Will you lead the charge to help reform Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security, the Triple Towers of our problems in the federal budget?
  7. Will you propose a consumption tax in lieu of every existing federal tax to get rid of all the loopholes, deductions and exemptions that make the current tax code a complete farce?
  8. Do you think we should keep cutting taxes regardless of the debt and deficit outlook as some advocate to stimulate the economy?
  9. Will you support a strong and vigorous national defense program and does that include keeping a naval fleet in the Straits of Hormuz to insure safe shipping lanes so we can keep importing more oil from the Middle East?
  10. How do you plan to defeat President Obama in November?  Please be specific.
  11. Do you actually still believe there is intelligent life on this planet?
(We threw that last one in to see if you were paying attention.  We wonder sometimes if all intelligent life has not just vanished from the modern media and modern political scene, though)

Let's hope future reporters will actually get their heads screwed on straight before asking any more questions to these candidates, one of whom will be trying to unseat President Barack Obama in November.

The list of questions we want answered are above and very simple to ask.  Send them along to John King and Brian Williams, et. al. if you know them.  They will be doing the American Republic a great favor if they will focus on questions that actually mean something to our future.

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