Few men can say their lives were more
“complicated” when it comes to abortion than me.
My sister, Susan Hill, was a
prominent abortion rights activist from the moment Roe vs. Wade was decided in
1973. She founded the National Women’s Health Organization which operated an
abortion clinic in Raleigh for decades before her death in 2010.
We talked about abortion, argued about
abortion and cursed each other over abortion for a longer period of time than “Gunsmoke”
was on television. To her, I was “idiotic”, “callous”, “stupid” and a “blighted
ovum”… and those were some of the nicer things she called me.
All in love, of course, between a
brother and sister.
The New York Times ran a story
headlined “On Abortion, Many Say It Is Complicated” on the front page of their
Sunday, June 16 edition. It struck a nerve because it reminded me of all the
conversations I had with my sister and no longer have.
As much as we argued and shouted,
we engaged in a lot of thoughtful, serious discussion about abortion at a very personal
level over all those years. We may not have solved the issue but we most
certainly understood where each other was coming from.
I recently led a discussion in
Washington DC for a group of young students about public service and then invited
them to ask any question about any issue on their minds.
Of course, the only issue they
wanted to talk about was the issue most sane people run away from: abortion.
The twin issues of fetal heartbeat legislation and late-term abortion or
“infanticide” bills were very much on their minds.
It could have been a disaster.
Instead, it was one of the more enlightening and interesting discussions I have
had since my sister passed away.
It certainly was more “civil”.
These students were interested in
the origins of the debate since they were born in 2002 and 1973 is like ancient
history to them. What happened in America before Roe vs. Wade; what really is
the core belief of pro-lifers when it comes to a human fetus in utero?
One young woman said she had
never heard the basis for the pro-life position. Why should she? She never had talked
openly with anyone who was pro-life. She certainly was not going to gain a full
understanding from the shouting matches on cable news talk shows.
We discussed how our American core
value concept of “freedom” is at the core of the abortion debate. Pro-choice
activists and supporters believe the “freedom” of the woman to make all
decisions regarding her body is sacrosanct.
“No man is going to tell me what
to do with my body!” I can still hear Susan say.
Pro-life activists and supporters
believe the human embryo has value from the moment of conception and deserves
to be protected more so than animal advocates want to protect puppy dogs and baby
seals. “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb” (Jeremiah 1:5)
gives believers the basis to say every human being from germination deserves an
equal opportunity to pursue life, liberty and happiness just like any other
American.
These two opposing views of
freedom have butted heads in public like bighorn sheep in rut for 46 years now.
We talked about ways we as a
society and government can help women in unwanted crisis pregnancies. Men have
to be held far more accountable for their role in any unwanted pregnancy
whether is it more support of the mother before the birth or the child after.
Adoption polices need to be revamped and upgraded. Pregnant mothers need more
financial support and safe homes to live in because many feel trapped in
untenable home situations with no way out.
One young woman wrote later and
said: “I am very grateful to have discussed abortion. I appreciated the
respectful atmosphere and cooperative environment”.
No one has ever said they were “very
grateful to have discussed abortion” with me. My sister may have been
“grateful” to use me as sounding board or punching dummy but I doubt she ever was
“grateful” to me for disagreeing with her.
Try to talk with someone this
week on the other side of any contentious issue. See if you both can come away
feeling “grateful” for the experience. You can even talk about abortion.
It. Is. Complicated.
(first published in North State Journal 6/26/19)
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